Category: Announcements

Shabbat shalom!  I love that time in the morning in the house when I am the only one there and it is quiet.  I love swimming because as I submerge, push off from the wall and start to swim there is a silence that I can’t explain but that is magnificent. I am not the only one who likes it quiet.  There are now quiet cars on trains so that people can relax, work, read, meditate and/or sleep without fear of being disturbed by those on their cell phones.  It is said that “silence is golden” and yet many of us are extremely uncomfortable in silence.  As part of the recent survey about worship times I was fascinated by the number of comments about music during services.  There were the typical responses: sing more, sing less, sing the traditional version, sing new music, clap, don’t clap, more piano, less piano etc. But the comment that surprised me the most was the one looking for silence.  The question raised was why do we announce a few moments of silent meditation and then play music.  I think that some of the survey respondents like the music because it soothes them into a place where deep thought and connection with God can actually take place.  But for some the music is a hindrance to silent meditation and that deep connection to prayer, God, and self.  It is hard to be silent and yet Shabbat is all about rest which at some point or another is about silence.  So I am trying an experiment and, for the Shabbatot in March when I am leading services, silent mediation will be silent.  Come join me in a quiet conversation with God that might naturally arise in the silence.

L’shalom,

Margot

I love this Shabbat reading, which I’ve adapted from Siddur Likrat Shabbat.  I hope you find it meaningful as well.

A great pianist was once asked by an ardent admirer: “How do you handle the notes as well as you do?”  The artist answered: “The notes I handle no better than many pianists, but the pauses between the notes—ah!  That is where the art resides.”

In great living, as in great music, the art may be in the pauses.  Surely one of the enduring contributions which Judaism made to the art of living was the Shabbat, “the pause between the notes.”  So if you are looking to restore to your life a sense of serenity and sanctity, why not try Shabbat?  Not as a day of limits and “I can’t,” but rather as a way of pausing and reflecting.  I promise you, the notes (all of the things on your to-do list) will still be waiting.  But perhaps you’ll handle them with greater artistry. Shabbat Shalom!

What’s your favorite kind of Hamantaschen?

Personally, I’m a big nutella fan but I know that is not a traditional flavoring. Apricot, Prune and Mun (which is a poppy seed kind of mixture that I am not even sure most people ever heard of) are what most people are used to when they think of Hamantaschen.  And now, if I am to believe a myriad of posts and pictures on Facebook and Instagram, there are all sorts of savory flavors making their debut –Caramelized Onion & Goat Cheese Hamantaschen, Savory Meat Pie Hamantaschen, French Onion Soup Hamantaschen. And then there are the crazy sounding sweet ones like Candy Candy Hamantaschen, Dulce de Leche Hamantashen and Maple Pecan Hamantaschen. If you don’t believe me, go online and check out all the fun folks are having inventing new flavors for these no-longer-simple triangle cookies!

Having never been a traditionalist, I kind of like all this experimentation with one of the symbols of Purim. It is way better than folks deciding that hamantaschen are old-fashioned and they just shouldn’t eat them at all. To me, it shows that traditions do not have to be inflexible. Which when you think about it, is what we are trying to do here in general at Temple Beth Abraham. From testing out a variety of Friday night service times, to creating new experiences for 5^th grade families in school, our community is actively involved in experimentation. And that is wonderful because we are taking tradition and making it ours. And even if you’re not exactly ready for those Savory Meat Pie Hamantaschen, I hope you will experiment with Judaism in your own way, and find your very own personal flavor.

Chag Sameach!

Pam Barkley

Last week and yesterday I had the opportunity to meet and have discussions with my colleagues.  Last week’s meeting involved my local colleagues from Westchester, yesterday’s from New Jersey. I am blessed to have the best group of colleagues in the world and I’d like to tell you why. As a group they came from all walks of life to take on the management of their respective Temples and synagogues. Until recently, there were no training programs to prepare people for synagogue management so almost everyone arrives with a background from a different industry-both profit and non-profit, large multi-nationals, mom and pops.  That variety already provides a vast array of experience at the table. Although each one of us becomes ensconced in the life and culture of our particular institution, we have common denominators. We all work with lay-led boards, volunteers, our clergy, and the other professionals on staff. There are many personal and professional relationships to cultivate and manage. And since each of us works within these parameters every day we are the only ones who know the ins and outs of being the administrator for that unique collection of people known as a congregation. And, now for the best part, we all share what we know and experience with each other. Since we are not really in competition there is no harm in cooperating with each other. Although I met my local colleagues for the first time last week I was already part of the group the minute that I indicated my affiliation with Temple Beth Abraham. Having this vast knowledge base stretching across the country to tap at any time is one of the most rewarding parts of doing this work and benefits the Temple as well. On behalf of all of my colleagues, I wish all of you a Shabbat Shalom!

 Shabbat Shalom! We were reminded this week of Ed Koch, of blessed memory, and all of his accomplishments.  The former Mayor of New York City greeted people with the phrase “how’m I doin?” and he genuinely wanted to know.  Last Sunday our Ritual Chair, Jodie Lane, sent out a survey as part of our Shabbat Evening experiment with service times and she asked how are we doing. We all genuinely want to know.  We have heard for years from people on the receiving line and during oneg how much they love coming to services, how wonderfully warm the community is and how relaxed and refreshed they feel when we have finished but that it is so too hard to get back out on a Friday night after a long week of work, school and schlepping.  It seems to be a refrain that once you arrive home and take off your shoes it is hard to put them on again and head back out.  From others who are regularly at TBA on a Friday night we have heard that they couldn’t possibly get to TBA before 8:00pm because they don’t get out of work early enough to go home have dinner and then be ready to come to TBA.  From some we have heard that 8:00pm is just too late.  So like Goldilocks we are wondering here at TBA is 5:45pm too early, too late or just right?  What about 8:00pm or is there a better time on a Friday night for your family?  Last Sunday you received an email from Jodie asking  you about your Shabbat experience and desires.  Just in case you missed it or you hadn’t had a chance to fill it out yet there is still time and we are interested in your thoughts.  I have included the survey below but please forward your thoughts to Jodie at jodieritual@gmail.com.  This coming Tuesday, February 12 at 8:00pm the Ritual Committee will meet to discuss the results of the survey and to plan for what service times will be starting in April.  If you would like to hear what people are thinking and share your thoughts with the committee  please feel free to join us.

As you may know, for the last few months we have been experimenting with our Friday night Shabbat service times.  Although we know that it is impossible to find a time that is perfect for everyone, we very much want to provide worship opportunities that work for those who want to be here on Shabbat evening.  We now need your help to go forward.  In fact, we simply can’t go any further without your input. Please reply to these questions with your thoughts on the following:

1)  Are you interested in attending Friday night services on a regular basis?  If so, what time or times would best allow you to do that?

2)  In the past three months have you attended either the 5:45pm or 8:00pm Friday night services? If so, how often?  How do these times work for your schedule?

3)  We would love to hear any of your comments or ideas about how to improve the Friday night experience.

Since we would like to review your responses at an upcoming Ritual Committee Meeting, please respond no later than Monday, February 11.

We really do want to know what you think and how we are doing so please fill out the survey above and forward it to Jodie.

Shabbat shalom,

Margot

I had the great privilege two weeks ago to deliver the sermon at the community Martin Luther King Jr. Day service held each year at Foster Memorial Church here in Tarrytown.  It was a remarkable experience, in no small part because the congregational response to every part of the service in this AME Zion congregation is so totally different than our own.  The level of freedom that worshippers feel to call out responses to prayer, songs and especially to the sermon is exhilarating. (I heard lots of “amens” and at least one “preach it, rabbi!”)  Not only is the immediate feedback reinforcing, it turns the service into a much more interactive, participatory experience.  Worshippers feel empowered, and they leave the sanctuary feeling that the service has worked for them, has impacted them is a very tangible way.  And that, after all, is one of the main goals of prayer.  The closest thing we currently have to this is our Family Service, which always draws a more spirited participation, especially in the music.  Come and join us tonight at 7:00, bring your energy, and feel free to shout out your joy.  You’ll be amazed at how good it feels!

Last fall we announced that we would create a task force to take a look at our dues structure and make recommendations for modifying them. Our group has met several times and it includes me, Michael Karnes, Alan Berkson, Karen Filler, Risa Swersey, Mel Savitch, Norm Jacobson, Patti Potash, and, of course, Rabbi David and Cantor Margot. Two things became very clear as we began to talk about dues: 1) Talking about dues is much more than a discussion of money. It really is the value we place on being a part of our temple community. And, 2) the concept of “dues” isn’t actually in the Torah! It is a construct of modern, American Judaism that turned participation in temple life into a financial obligation, more like paying a bill than giving a donation to a cause. The bottom line (pun intended) right now is that we welcome everyone regardless of their financial circumstances, and some families donate quite a bit more than their dues every year (thank you!), however, dues feel overwhelming high to too many families who would like to stay connected to temple but don’t feel that they can afford to do so.

Something has to change.

The second issue has had a profound impact on the way that many families think about Judaism and participation in Jewish life. Generally, we react to institutions based on the way we are treated; and for too long, we’ve treated congregants like life cycle payers. We need to begin a new conversation at TBA. As so many people discovered during Hurricane Sandy, community at temple is so much more than a bar mitzvah or a shiva (although those are important things.) We are a place to convene, to care for one another, a place to be connected to and strengthened by one another.

I was talking to a congregant the other day who told me she hates writing out her check for dues, but feels great when she makes her pledge for the Annual Appeal. Of course, she does, one feels like paying the plumber and one feels like a contribution to Audubon or Hadassah or whichever cause she gives to throughout the year. We need to change our financial narrative.

There are two pieces to this issue; the first is changing our lens by turning dues into donations (they are tax-deductive contributions, after all), the second is better explaining what, exactly, contributions are used for (e.g. worship, education, social justice, pastoral care, etc.)

Over the next few months, our task force is going to work on developing our financial narrative, and will be asking for your input as we do this on our Facebook Group (thanks, Alan!)

The second thing we’re going to do is host a few focus groups with people who are struggling to stay as members, or are no longer members, and ask them to help us craft a new giving structure. Our congregant, Sharon Delevie, a professional focus group facilitator, has volunteered her professional time to this effort.

Please know that we are trying to figure this out as we go, as are most reform congregations around the country. We are getting input and advice from the Union from Reform Judaism, our own board of trustees, and others, but there is no one, right answer to this difficult problem. The idea of moving away from dues, a system which enables us to reasonably predict income year-to-year, is terrifying for those of us responsible for keeping temple sound financially. However, there are times when we need to re-imagine our institutions. And certainly for young people, that time has passed for temples. (Here is an article from the Washington Post about younger Jews rebelling against dues.)

Here are a few questions we have for you as we begin this process:

1. Do you think using donation language instead of invoice/billing/statement language on what we send out now would feel better? Why/why not?

2.What is the “value” of TBA to you and your family right now? What could it be?

We will keep you apprised of our progress. Thanks for your input, advice and good wishes!

This week is “Shabbat Shira” the Sabbath of song. On Shabbat morning, all across the world, we will read the story of the Israelites fleeing the Egyptians and miraculously crossing the sea to freedom. We are told that when they safely reached the other side, Miriam, Moses’ sister, took a tambourine in her hand and led a group of women in a joyous song and dance in thanks to God. 

A tambourine. 

The Israelites were fleeing Egypt and didn’t even have enough time to let the dough rise and yet the women thought to bring their tambourines?

 It is a fascinating thing when you think about it. We have all played that game – if there was a fire, what would be the three objects you would run to save from the house? We mostly think of family heirlooms and picture albums. And yet Miriam (and many of her girlfriends) when faced with a quick rush out of the house, chose to bring a musical instrument. Why? There are probably lots of explanations but here’s the one I like best: they were making sure to bring along hope so they’d be ready for celebration. After 400 years of slavery, of being beaten down by Pharoah, these women made a decision that they were going to carry something that clearly represented joy and freedom. They 

were going to bring their tambourines and hope, please God, that they would have the chance to use them. This cannot have been easy. But they armed themselves with hope and forged ahead, equipped and prepared for joy and happiness.

What is it in your life that you are hoping for? And what can you do now so that you are ready for  it when it comes? Don’t forget to pack your tambourine because you never know if the next miracle is just around the corner

Shabbat Shalom!

Pamela Barkley

Director of Education

It is a great pleasure to be writing my first blog entry as I begin my tenure in the newly created position of Director of Temple Operations. And I get to start out in this position in the month of January which is named for the Roman god Janus. Janus, the god of beginnings and transitions, is pictured with two faces – one faces back into the past, one forward to the future.

Looking back to 2012, I had an absolutely memorable year. My family had two weddings (my son and my nephew), I was the Gala Honoree at the synagogue at which I am a member, and in November, my wife and I became Saba and Savta, grandparents, for the first time! Looking forward into 2013, I have the opportunity to get acquainted with you and work with you on your life cycle events, your programs, social action projects, and educational initiatives.  The Professional Staff and your leadership have been extremely warm and welcoming making my transition here a smooth, comfortable, and enjoyable experience. I look forward to meeting you and getting to know you through the course of this year. I appreciate your patience and understanding as I get to learn everyone’s name and become familiar with our procedures. Feel free to stop into the Temple office to say hello next time you are in the building. You can also call me in the office – I’m at extension 13 – or email me at sskolnick@tba-ny.org.

I wish all of you a Shabbat Shalom!

In this week’s parasha we read about the plagues in Egypt, and of the hardening of Pharaoh’s heart in response to those plagues.  He has evidence before him of the inevitability of God’s victory, but still he refuses to let the people go.  The sages wonder about that phrase, “hardening his heart.”  Is it stubbornness?  Evil?  Stupidity?  One thought is that it might just have been a habit.  Pharaoh, the master of Egypt, god-incarnate to his people, was not used to being challenged or confronted by anyone.  His automatic response to anyone challenging his authority was “No!”  And despite the mounting evidence before him, despite the increasing suffering of the Egyptians through each successive plague, he was unable to break the habit of automatically rejecting any request that challenged his authority.  We know how that worked out for him…

This leads me to some questions for your Shabbat meditation:  1) what are the issues/people/moments/events to which or in which you habitually and automatically say “no?”  Is it time to reconsider that response?  2) what negative habit(s) would you like to change?  Wouldn’t you like to do it now, before the plagues start?

Shabbat shalom!